Learning Development Service
Student Guidance Centre
Tel: +44 (0)28 9097 3618
Normal hours are Monday-Friday 9.00 am to 5.00 pm.
Evening and Skype appointments are available upon request.
2011 Teaching Award Recipient
WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?
Believe you have a right to express your needs, wants or opinions.
Imagine you were advising your best friend about what to do or say in the situation you are finding difficult
Know What You Want To Say: write down what it is that you are unhappy about and separate facts and emotions.
Say It! Don’t hesitate or beat about the bush, come right out with it! Practice before you say it and check for appropriateness.
Say exactly what you want or do not want, so that there cannot be any confusion. Begin with the word ‘I’. No long explanations are necessary.
Do not let too much time pass as this builds up apprehension. On the other hand, do not say it at the peak of your anger. Wait for that to pass.
Manage your voice: Keep a steady pace and even pitch. Manage your breathing so that you do not start to sound breathless.
Maintain comfortable eye contact: Look at the person you are talking to as you will get valuable information about their response and they will see that you are genuine
Avoid Laughing Nervously: Smile if it’s appropriate, but if you giggle or laugh you won’t look as if you mean what you say. This will confuse the person you are speaking to.
Start Small: progress to more difficult situations and people
Assess your assertiveness using this questionnaire.